Hey. I’m back.

Be forewarned: this journal is going to be a looooooooooong one, folks. So, you might want to get a snack, or a tasty beverage. No, but seriously, if you only have a few minutes online and don’t feel like reading this, won’t hurt my feelings a bit if you just hit that back button on your browser now.

Today… wasn’t great, to put it mildly.

Here’s the thing. 99% of the time in life, I’m real easy going. I try my best not to let stuff bother me. I’m cool with the fact that at 21, I still live at home. I’m cool with the lack of a car, or a license, or even a cell phone. I’m alright that I’m still stuck in the previous-gen of video games. I’m fine with not being in school right now. Heck, I’m even accepting of the fact that it would take two or three miracles for me to ever have a shot with the girl I really like.

But, you know, my passion in life is writing. That’s when I’m my happiest. That’s when I feel like everything in this crazy world is alright. It can be a RP, SK&WS or whatever… I just enjoy being able to tell my crazy-ass stories. And, in all seriousness, I feel like writing is the reason I’m on this earth. I feel like its God purpose for my life. (Only, probably something a little more important than crazy stories about evil food mascots.)

I want to write for a living. Even if I can’t do books, I’d still like to be a journalist or a columnist or something. The one tool I’ve wanted, needed, desired, asked for, worked for and pined for is my *own* laptop computer.

A computer I don’t have to share with anyone. A computer I have access to 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for as long as I’m awake or alive. Yes, so I can goof off and waste hours on youtube or playing games – but also so I can indulge my passion and write.

Several times in the past I thought I’d get one. Several times I told everyone I know I was going to get one. And each time, something prevented it from happening. But in the past, I never worked for it. I never did anything to earn it. I just sat back and hoped my family would buy it for me.

Well, this time, a couple months ago, I decided that I was going to work for it. And I did. I spent hours researching things, and getting stuff ready, and doing everything that I could think of to help with this last show. I truly worked hard and I truly felt that I deserved it.

. . . and, it didn’t happen. Why? Well, because it was one hundred and six degrees the day of the show, for one. It was also because Fort Wayne, Indiana is a Podunk little town, and because despite my helping, I was the only one helping my mom. All the people who promised they’d help so much didn’t do it. They didn’t make calls, they didn’t get the word out, and they just screwed around, did no work and wanted to take all the credit.

Also, in all honesty, I could have SAVED some money from a couple months ago. I had a couple hundred from my birthday. I spent it on crap. I wasn’t wise. I just assumed everything would go perfect, and it didn’t, and I didn’t have a plan B.

But it’s okay. I needed to learn some lessons on responsibility, and I did. And we DO have the money for a laptop, and I WILL be getting one at long last! … In a couple weeks. The money we have now has to go to bills because it’s the end of the month, but I earned enough that once a couple more checks get in I can get one. That’s cool.

Until then, I did put my old computer back in my room, so after I eat something (I haven’t done that yet today… it’s only 11PM XD) I’ll go ahead and attempt the certainly daunting task of catching up on everything I’ve missed at SRB, dA and Facebook.

… UGH. HEY VIDIT! I could use a RP newsletter. XD It’s just like old times, eh buddy? … Yeah, you probably want to throw stuff at me. XD

Okay. Enough ranting about me and my stuff. I’ve kept you here too long. Just do one more thing… go listen to some Michael Jackson tunes. Forget all the weirdness and allegations and surgery and crap for a minute and remember that the guy could really kick-ass with a tune. Man In The Mirror is awesome.

Alright. That’s all.